It’s an exquisite fall day here on Cape Cod. The trees across the tidal Swan River at the edge of our backyard are turning bright red, orange and yellow. And yet, with a heavy heart, I feel compelled to write about a tragedy I experienced this morning. Sadie the dog and I were out in the neighborhood for our morning walk. It was crisp and cool so I wrapped a keffiyeh around my neck for comfort. As we walked through the beauty surrounding us, Sadie blissed and totally in the present moment, I was writing in my head a philosophical post for this blog. It was beautiful honest emotion with a kind of poetic rhythm. “I have to write this down immediately when I get home” I thought, as a man and woman about my age approached us. We stopped and had a nice conversation for a few minutes before continuing on our way. As Sadie and I walked away, just the two of us again, I returned to my words in my head…. but they were….. they were gone! Every beautiful word vaporized! FUCK!
… . . . . . . ., OK, .. well,…. maybe it wasn’t a tragedy…., maybe…., maybe those words were just some narcissistic shit. Just because they felt good to me doesn’t mean they were anything better than a love letter from a 13 year old boy.
Well, anyway, I’ll never know if I lost some profoundly deep and eloquent thoughts while having a light conversation with some very nice neighbors or if I should be grateful that I didn’t get a chance to publish some neurotic shit. And speaking of shit, it seems to be happening, more often these days, as I walk into the end story part of my life. I beg for mercy my friends. Please be kind and approach me and my words with a forgiving sense of humor.